Saturday, April 15, 2006 ♣
bitter vs sweet
hmmm, i think i haven't updated for like soo longg now.. haha. but since this week is a longgg weekend week (WEEEE!!), here goes some updates.
got CT results back. kanasai as usual. -.-" okie maybe got improve a little bit for econs but the sciences are just as ugly as usual. sometimes i wonder what is it i am doing wrong that i can't even pass the O grade for both sciences. hmm. my brain is just not made to study science i guess. sigh.
submitted my A level registration form without physics since i kinda like chemistry better than physics.. (even though both are about the same grade..) like i understand even a teeny weeny portion of superposition.. >_< but this was before food chem's carbohydrates lecture started. sighh. why is everything so un-understandable? i think i'm in the wrong school. =(
on a brighter note.. oh wait, there isn't any brighter note.
thursday sucks. shan't elaborate much here since i've already told my story to soo many people i don't think they want to see it again here. hee.. all i can say is that i hate people who always say this say that but not doing it themselves. i hate people who blame other people for their own problems. i hate people who only go with the flow without caring about other people's feelings. i hate people who always joke and play with me yet hating me inside. i hate the number 17 too.
and just a suggestion: if you want to bitch about somebody, please do look around first. for all you know the person is just behind you. (:
talked to ezzah last night about basically everything under the sun. haha. feel so much happier after that.. heehee.. like this big burden i have all the while suddenly just disappear from my shoulder. pheww. =)
there isn't any angklung practice today since it's a holy saturday. at first i was quite happy really. haha. it has been a really longgg time since i can wake up late on a beautiful saturday. but erm, when it does happen, it doesn't make me feel any happier. i wonder why.
at 10 am, i was thinking: "hmm, i could be practising a new song right about now. or maybe revise 'heart and soul' or 'i want to break free'." (i really love all the new songs we're learning now!! hehe..)
sth is seriously wrong with me!! -.-" i could actually miss angklung so much.. haha. i guess it's been part of my life for so long that i feel weird without it. sigh. i'm just not used to changes. =(
and it's really weird that i can love angklung so much when
some people inside are really giving me so much trouble. i guess it's bcos some other lovely people can really outweigh the bitter part. (:
at the end of the day, your memories will be divided into 2 parts: the bitter part and the sweet part. but as the years go by, i think only the sweet memories will stay. as you grow older, your memory capacity will decrease rite? i suppose your brain will just filter out all the unwanted memories. so why bother about cutting down on the bitter part at the expense of creating more sweet part? i shall thus work on increasing the sweet memories from now onwards. =)
i shall not give a damn about you anymore. in fact i totally love this one particular part of my convo with ezzah ytd. the part where i'm being evil to you of cos. hahaha.okie, i'm an evil person. but then again, why shouldn't i be? since people are generally evil to me, what's wrong with me being evil to them back? (:
if you watch the movie "the interpreter", there's this part about a way of life of this particular tribe. when someone murder someone else and is caught for it, they don't just send the person to jail or what. there'll be this ritual that's supposed to help the victim's family members feel better.
they will bind the murderer and throw him into the river. no one is supposed to help or save him except for the victim's family. according to legend, if the family members decide to save him, they won't be able to take revenge but they'll be able to move on. they can then let go of the pain they feel when their beloved dies and thus, by saving the murderer, they're actually saving their own souls.
if however, they decide to let the murderer die, they'll be satisfied as they can watch the person who take their beloved away from them die a horrible death. to suffocate and slowly die. a painful death. but if they do this, they will never be able to let go of the misery they feel of losing someone dear to them. they'll forever be trapped in sadness.
so which choice will you make?
i guess it's easy to say that the first choice is the right one. but are you really able to do it? when you really lost that special someone, can you really forgive the person who take him/her away?
not everything is as easily done as it is easily said. ohh i even learn how to say this in chinese! it's "shuo de rong yi, zuo de nan". hehe.. hupkee teach me one. i hope i rmbr it correctly. (:
so well, bottomline is.. okie i dunno what the bottomline is.. haha. just some food for thought i guess.
RANDOMNESS!
4:12 AM